“Many people believe in love at first site. They believe that in an instant, they will know who they should be with for the rest of their lives.”

Often, these unrealistic expectations end in divorce.

Then there are those couples who spend 10 or 15 years getting to know each other before “committing” to marriage.

They’ll live together, make major purchases, and even have children, before making a commitment to get married.

Many of these marriages also end in divorce because even though the couple committed with their heads (and maybe even their hearts) the couple didn’t know how to make a real soul commitment.

Other people go merrily along being unhappily single. They desire to be married, but they find themselves playing games and dating without setting realistic personal goals for their future.

Maybe you’re like one of the people I’ve mentioned above. Perhaps you’re in a relationship (or you’re waiting for one), and you’re wondering, “Is this it? Have I really found my soulmate?”

What if I told you that knowing your soulmate has more to do with knowing who you are and your level of commitment, than finding the “perfect match” to complete you?

Here are three ways for you to recognize your soulmate:

1. The communication between the two of you is transparent.

In his excellent book, “Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?”, John Powell describes the five levels of communication: cliche, fact opinion, emotion, and transparency.

Transparent communication means you and your partner can move beyond the cliches, facts, opinions, and emotions to a level where you are both vulnerable, but where truth prevails in your relationship.

Transparency doesn’t come quickly for most people, but when it does, freedom is not far behind. Transparency comes only with courage, non-judgmental attitudes, and most importantly - trust.

2. You and your soulmate will trust each other completely.

That means you don’t have to wonder if your loved one is doing something inappropriate, without thought to your wellbeing, or without sound judgment. Trust comes when words and actions line up to form a coherent picture of the person you love.

3. You and your soulmate know the meaning of unconditional love. One may say, “How can you believe in such a concept in this day in age? This kind of love never happens in real life.” I’m here to say that it does.

Ultimately successful soulmates aren’t just born at some point in time or space to hook up by sheer coincidence. They are made over time to be with each other for a lifetime. If you’re wondering where yours is, look inward and you’re bound to discover more than what you’ve seeking.

Keishia Lee-Louis is the Editor of http://www.Married4Good.com. Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in numerous other publications.

Find your soul-mate:
http://The-Ultimate-Romantic.com/x/Soulmate-Secrets.htm