Getting from the First to the Second date, and beyond …

At least once a month or more, one of my female clients comes into my office upset about how her date went the previous weekend.

Inevitably, either she feels she did something wrong, or worries that the guy didn’t seem to be too interested in her.

For the next 45 minutes we dissect the evening in question, and I usually either end up offering suggestions on how to salvage a second date, or I congratulate her on discovering early on that he wasn’t worth another chance.

Many times though, the problem lies with my client not understanding the purpose of a first date.

Too often women (and men) tend to first concentrate on such things has compatibility, attraction, and past relationship history.

All of these things are important but not for a first encounter. They are too in-depth for a casual get-to-know-you conversation.

The only thing a woman really needs to be concerned with is conveying her femininity. This is the easiest and most reliable way toward making a good first impression.

The three keys to a great first date are:

• wear a dress,
• smile often
• allow him to speak first at the start of the date,
  and listen to what he has to say.

Those three things will make him feel masculine, and he will naturally find you more attractive. The first date is (or should be) all about being a girl, and not just revealing everything about yourself.

If those suggestions seem silly or sexist then I am afraid you don’t understand men.

Men like women in dresses for example because it radiates softness and feminineness, making a man want to hold and cuddle her.

Smiling at him always makes him feel more attractive and desired. Letting him speak first conveys respect, which is every man’s greatest desire, even more than being loved.

Show him that you have the ability to be the woman he has fantasized about and he will beg you for another date!

Once you have gone out 3 or more times, then you will be much freer to let him get to know you has an individual.

Since you have shown him that you are every bit a woman, he will be much more motivated to get to know you as a person.

If things still don’t work out from there, you can still be comfortable in knowing that you gave it every chance, and didn’t shoot yourself in the foot, right out of the gate!

Bob Grant, “The Relationship Doctor” is a Licensed Professional Counselor, therapist, and relationship coach, and is author of The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave . As a relationship coach, Bob has been helping women achieve the relationship of their dreams throughout the United States and the world. For a free report of “How to be Irresistibly Sexy to Men”, click here.