Do you know what all happy and healthy romantic relationships (including marriages) have in common?

In every one of them you will find two people committed to making each other happy.

You will find a man who cherishes his woman, and puts her needs above his own, and you will find a woman who respects and trusts her man.

We live in very selfish times. Pop-psychology messages are everywhere in the media, encouraging us to love ourselves, do right by ourselves, and generally please ourselves first.

If you really want a happy relationship, don’t buy into that type of self-centered thinking. Instead, try these ten time-tested techniques and experience the happiness, peace, and tranquility of a healthy relationship.

1. Make time for each other.

It’s so easy in our hyper-busy modern lifestyles to forget to set aside a little time to enjoy each other’s company.

Start a weekly tradition of setting a date for the two of you to be together doing something you both enjoy.

Keep it simple. Take a nice walk together. Sip coffee together in a cozy coffeehouse. Talk to each other, reminisce, and get to know each other again.

2. Take time off from each other.

Give each other space and time to work on hobbies and personal interests. When you have an interesting project to work on, you will feel more fulfilled and you will be a more interesting person.

3. Make little romantic gestures.

Remember to compliment your partner. Leave a little love note for them to find once in awhile.

Celebrate the day you first met. Send flowers for no particular reason.

You should continuously make little deposits in your partner’s emotional bank account. The return on your investment will be incredible.

4. Fight fair.

Don’t argue in front of other people. Don’t insult each other or each other’s families.

Never threaten breakup or divorce, and never go to bed angry. Let the little things go, and don’t make a big deal out of every disagreement.

Before arguing, think; is this really going to matter in the long run?

5. Take interest in what interests your partner.

Watch their favorite shows with them. Read their favorite book, so you can talk about it with them. Encourage them to develop their talents.

6. Listen to your partner.

Men, remember that women need to express their feelings. Be a good sport and just listen.

Don’t interrupt or get distracted. Empathize with her. Let her know that you can relate to what she’s feeling.

Women, please remember that the kind of talk you might like to have with your partner does not come naturally to most men. Just be patient. It’s generally not a good idea to “unload” on him right when he comes home from work.

7. Accept your partner for who they are.

Practice total acceptance. Don’t hold your partner to your expectations; you will only succeed at building resentment.

8. Express your commitment.

In little ways, you can, and should, renew your committment to each other over and over.

Your partner will feel comfortable and secure knowing that you are truly committed to the relationship. True closeness will only happen when all doubt and insecurity is replaced by confidence. Let your parnter know that you really are in it for the long haul.

9. Trust in each other.

Don’t be suspicious. Don’t snoop through each other’s belongings. To help ensure the trust, be honest with your partner in all things.

Never keep secrets from each other, not even little ones.

10. Make it your aim to be your partner’s best friend.

Appreciate your partner for who they are. Loosen up and have fun with each other.

If you are practicing the steps above, you are on your way to being happily ever after in the ultimate relationship!

© Slade Hartwell