If the fires of passion in your relationship have been reduced nearly to embers, then you are not alone.

One of the most common problems that can damage a relationship is the loss of the “spark” or the spice, or whatever you like to call it.

It’s really not so easy to get yourself or your partner “in the mood” once you have become very familiar with each other.

Of course, it’s wonderful to be familiar with your partner, because the familiarity itself is the basis of real intimacy in a long-term relationship.

But then, intimacy is not quite the same as passion, is it?

“Routine” is the culprit - the perpetrator behind this loss of passion, this fading of the fires of desire!

If the proper countermeasures are not quickly deployed against routine’s assault, then it will drain all the passion right out of your relationship, perhaps permanently.

Routine is a tenacious killer of passion - a suspect in the deaths of millions of previously steamy romances.

I know that routine comes in very handy for things like showers and oil changes, but it has no place in the bedroom. Fight it! Fight boredom and routine!

It’s going to take a little effort to rekindle those flames, but armed with the right tactics you will succeed!

Some of the ideas mentioned here may seem rather basic, and most are indeed very simple and easy. Just try them. You may immediately wonder why you didn’t try this before!

You have already begun the process of restoring the passion to your relationship just by reading this article. Now that you’ve started, don’t just THINK about how nice it would be to do some of these things with your partner - DO IT! Give it a shot - what have you got to lose, except your boredom?

Have you ever noticed how just a simple change of venue or scenery can be very exciting?

That’s right - just being together in a place that’s not your bedroom or your home can have an almost magical effect.

Use this strange phenomenon to your advantage. Get yourselves a nice hotel room on a Saturday night. First have dinner, and then go for a swim in the hotel pool.

Be playful and flirty with your spouse - but don’t put any pressure on them to respond. Just be affectionate, happy, and playful throughout the evening together and let things happen naturally - and they will!

A hand on his or her thigh, a whisper in their ear or a kiss on the neck are all great for reminding your partner what’s waiting for them.

Now, go up to your room and let the “strange” surroundings work their magic.

Try reading your spouse an erotic bedtime story. Let it be spontaneous. Don’t let them know it’s a sexy story before you begin, maybe even disguise the book with a different cover.

This can be an easy way to get your spouse to try something new. If they hear it in the story, then it might be their idea to try it. Most people of either sex find erotic stories to be very arousing. Talk about your fantasies - ask your partner about theirs - offer to make them come true!

Watch a “steamy” movie together. Many hotels have in-room movies available, or you can bring your own DVD player and rent a movie together to watch (you might want to check with the hotel first to make sure that you will be able to plug into the TV in the room).

Ladies, if you are doing this for your man, defer to his more “visual” nature and get something very erotic, with minimal plot. Men, if you are doing this for your “best gal”, remember that women like relationships, and drama - try renting a sappy romantic comedy, something you know has a happy (and passionate) ending!

Offer to give your partner a soothing backrub or massage. Have them get naked, and use a little warm massage oil. Start with their back and shoulders, and work your way down. Make it your goal to totally relax them!

Bring a video camera into the bedroom. Try a little role-playing - make your own “porn movie” (with all your favorite parts!)

Watch the tape together afterward, then erase it, (if you’re worried) - or keep it to watch together another time!

Actually it’s often the deliciously wicked sense of the forbidden, and the element of “naughty” voyeurism and the “danger” of discovery, that often makes this exciting!

Buy (or make) a sexy little costume to surprise your partner with. Ladies, men always have and always will love the sexy “French maid” outfit! High heels, black stockings, perhaps some leather or latex accessories - all have a way of raising a man’s temperature!

Men, never let your wives see you in a dingy pair of “tighty-whities”! Try a different color, or style. How about a pair of sexy briefs in red, black, or even a “leopard skin” pattern? Be her “jungle-man”!

Write little “love notes” to your partner. Hide a romantic message in a briefcase or handbag for them to find later.

In fact, it’s simple little romantic gestures like these that lay the groundwork for constantly building romance in a long-term relationship.

Let your partner know that they excite you! They will be excited knowing that you’re excited. Send flowers for no special occasion, just to delight the love of your life!

The key is just making a small effort, and then MORE small efforts. Together, over time, they will add up to FABULOUS flames of desire!

Changing things, mixing things up for variety and excitement, and making little romantic gestures, are all simple, easy, and effective ways to rekindle the romance and passion in a mature relationship.

Plus, when your partner sees you even making an effort to bring back the passion, they will join in to make an effort right along with you!

Have fun!

(c) Slade Hartwell

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